2013年12月31日 星期二

2014 will be even BETTER



I'm still amazed by how determined I am to break things off with DJ, and I am so proud that I succeed. And finally I was back on the right track that I intend to be on, achieving good exam results and have my offers now.

2014, you have to be smooth and even better. I really enjoy the calmness in the past few months, and I wish there is not going to be any storms followed by. And I do believe that life can be smooth if you truly determine to. Even though it can be less fun, but overall that's all I ask for. 

At the start of December, I made up this advent calendar game for Mister by sending him SnapChats every day till Xmas day. And he seems to enjoy it a lot, so he ask for more. Now I show him each item I brought from the Xmas sale every day, just one item with nothing else, so it can be just a scarf, a cardigan, anything. Mister gives me good reviews as well, always makes me feel flattered. 

Can't wait to see him when he's back to London...

Today's SnapChat with Mister.
Anyway, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

XXXXX


2013年12月27日 星期五

A Date with an Old Crush

OK, it wasn't really a date.

A friend of mine from the US, Jason came to London for holiday. Well, he is actually one of my Besties' boyfriend. I know Jason at the same time as my bestie, when we are all still in high school. They have been together for 5 years since then. And he was one of my crushes.

Then we met up today, mainly because I need to be in the central London for sales shopping! We went to Winter Wonderland as well, we did have a great time. Thinking about how disappointed I feel when I knew they got together 5 years ago, and now I am feeling glad that it wasn't me, makes me realized how unpredictable things can go in life.

I think it's not entire representative when they say: ' When people grow, people grow apart. '

In the case of Jason and me, I think we grew closer. Our values became closer, possibly due to similar experiences, lifestyle et cetera. Today was great, but I knew there is no chemistry at all. It could be the fact that I know guys at his age cannot afford what I truly like and enjoy, typically when I already had a taste of all these fine things.

Through our conversation today, I think our values are much more similar. Cannot say they are very good talks, but good enough. I guess if Jason wasn't my bestie's bf, we can be good friends. But you know it's difficult and awkward to be good friends with your bestie's bf.

P.S. Mister and I kind of made a deal to go on a trip on February, as long as I promised to do certain hours of study each day -_- I agreed on that, but when it really comes, we will see. We are not sure about our destination yet... I would love to go to Italy though :)

XXXXX

2013年12月24日 星期二

I want a Summer Internship!

As I am 80% sure that I will be in London next year, I can now proceed to my next step. I have been looking up for a summer internship or anything, so that I can stay in London for part of my summer, instead of being forced to go back home in Asia by my parents for the entire 3 months holiday.

So far I've seen, most of the internships are for undergraduate or for school leavers that intend to start their career after A-levels. I am in neither of these categories, so it is a bit difficult to find one..... I will keep trying though.

Does anyone have any ideas? She can speak Mandarin, Cantonese, English. Prospective Engineering student with an offer, have the rights to work in EU. Also a slim 5'7'' and very presentable.




2013年12月22日 星期日

Happy Holiday and More Surprises!

I got an offer from UCL! I literally screamed when I received the email the other day. This makes me feel much more secure now. At least now I can choose to stay in London next year, in which I always intend to. I have been waiting for over 2 months, so I got quite nervous and a bit stressed out. This is the best gift from Santa this year!

I do ask myself, what is my reason to stay in London? Why is it my first choice? I kept convincing myself that there is more opportunities to find a relevant internship in London, better lifestyle et cetera. But to be honest, I knew Mister is one of the reasons. I never admit it but I assume he knows. Also, even though I am not inside the sugar-bowl right now, I still wouldn't want to stay too far away from it geographically. London is the heart of the sugar-bowl, how can I leave here?

The day after, I received a small parcel from Mister: a lovely card with paragraphs of writings, a pomegranate, a recipe book, two boxes of chocolates from Charbonnel et Walker, and a Wolford gift card. That really makes my day, they are all so meaningful and I can tell the thoughts behind each of them. I am a bit uncertain about whether this is my Christmas present, because he once told me he will get me something after he comes back from France. And he also mentioned 'to help me going over the holiday', so I wasn't sure. I would be slightly disappointed if there isn't anything when he comes back. I know I shouldn't because he already did so much for me in the entire year, but you know women... :-P

I think I am going to have a wonderful Christmas this year, finally. Not sure about New Year, I always get quite upset in New Year's time, but I do hope I will have a great New Year too.

Anyway, Merry Christmas people!

XXXXX


2013年12月14日 星期六

All I want for Christmas...

I met Mister yesterday, and this is the last time we will see each other in 2013 :(

I got him some pistachio truffles made by me and paired them up with a bottle of Tokaji 5 Puttonyos. And that is spot on, he loves it! Nevertheless, I served them in my satin basque ;-)
I tied that ribbon!! Glad that YouTube is there.
The meeting was lovely as usual. Every time is getting better than the last time... Then we went to a Thai restaurant for dinner, as we are both starving after we have wore each other out. And go back to the hotel for more. Not sure if it's the orgasm or just simply him that makes me feel so secure and happy that I almost tear up. Possibly it's his words, I guess he is the first one in this world that encourages me all the time, so sincerely, in such a way that even my parents never did. 


'I can see that, in few years time, you will be amazing. Either designing new pharmaceutical plants or even winning the British Bake Off, you will be amazing.' I know this might sound a bit silly, but that's all I really need. That's why I keep telling him how lucky I am. It's not only that I've found a nice and generous sugardaddy, not only that I've found someone who supports me in so many ways, but someone like him that offer me things in such a gentle way. Thank you.

We both agreed that we will stick with each other for at least a while. But he said he thinks I would be the one who will change my mind first, because I'm still too young, too much things unseen. While he had seen much more and he still wants me, so it is not likely that he will change his mind... He might be right, but we will see. At least I am certain that he is one of those person who influenced me the most in my life.


2013年12月11日 星期三


I always knew life is unfair. I am quite lucky most of the time, so I never make a fuss about it.

Due to my dual citizenship, I didn't go to a boarding school since I came to the UK. But the main reason is that I was not academic at all, so my parents don't think putting me into a boarding school would make much difference to me. Then I go to a state school in the South-Eastern England with working to working poor class white kids. It was fun, in terms of cultural experience. But in terms of academic, not so much, it leads to quite a lot of hassles...

However, I'm glad that I did go to this school. Because I see the difference between individuals from different families (or class, I don't like saying that, but I can't describe it better). I am from an middle-upper class family, that is the first perspective I gained. I gained the second perspective as I go to this state school, and as I make friends with others. Since I enter the sugar-dating, it brought me to an upper-class world, I gained the third perspective here.

Most of the friends in my school at my age, will have a part-time job. Especially in the Sixth Form, we only have 20 hours of lessons per week, so they can work long-hours, while I can focus on doing my revision or shopping to make myself happy. And what I spent in a week might possibly is what they earn in a month.

I know a lot of my other friends hate going to fastfood chains restaurant or cafe , they actually refuse to go even if we're starving and shivering on the street at 3am. And all the SD I know refuse to go either, I literally have to drag Mister into a McDonald once, because we were in the departure gate in the middle of nowhere of the airport and I am starving. He kept insisting that we can walk and find a nicer restaurant. During a school trip, two of our friends left us in Wetherspoon and go to Burger King instead because Wetherspoon is two pounds more expensive than B.K. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind either. But I just feel like the two pounds didn't worth the arguments and ruining a great time.

And a few of my schoolmates are struggling to go to university because they cannot get the loan or bursary. These are the problems I have never thought of, because my parent would pay for it. And I am very likely to get a bursary from either the university or my hometown government or both. I can see the struggle of kids that are not from a wealthy family or doing excellent in school. Sometimes I can't imagine what can I do for myself if I am in their situations.

I know how lucky I am, in everything. And I feel lucky that I wasn't brought up in one type of environment only.

2013年12月9日 星期一

When a door shuts, a window opens


Even though I am relieved after the conversation with DJ, I feel a bit upset as it reminds me of the past. Exams are coming up as well, but I find it so hard to concentrate today in the library. All I can think of is DJ...

Then I got a text from Mister:

I thought it is the end of term, so I sent you some more funds. Enjoy your Christmas shopping! Xxx

That is sweet. And now I have £4000 extra to spend for this Christmas. :) :)

I feel so happy that I can almost forget what had happened during the weekend. Money always makes me feel secure. More than that, it is Mister's thoughtfulness that also counts.


2013年12月8日 星期日

DJ makes his confession... I make mine too.

After I was back from Hong Kong for the summer, me and DJ have our contacts back again. We actually met each other in person few weeks ago. He is still important to me, but the feelings are no longer the same.

For the first time, I actually observe this person without being overwhelmed by affections, like I was. I dislike this person. However, it is the good times we had together that make him into a somebody in my life. Then, I got pampered by Mister the following day, as his way to cheer me up from being rejected from Cambridge.

We went for Dim Sum for lunch. He booked a hotel with a really nice whirlpool bath, so we dwell ourself in the hot tub for the whole afternoon. (And I had my first pomegranate in my life!) He gave me a full body massage as well. Ah... I will always remember that.

Anyway, so after having such a lovely pamper day, I really don't bother much about DJ. Especially I have told him clearly that I am quite happy for what it is now, and he has a proper girlfriend now.

Until yesterday, he started to tell me that he can't stop thinking about having me in his bed again. Yes, he actually said that. He said it is unfair to me, but he still wants to see me again. I was watching Percy Jackson when he texts me, so I literally don't know what to respond.

All I think of is all the bullshits he said in the past, the 'I don't want anything serious right now' et cetera, and how much I hate him, so I said it. 'I hate you, you know that right?' Texts keep going back and forth, he did his little trick saying 'I guess we are in different stages of life. I think if we are at the same age, we would be the prefect match.' blahhhblahblah

I will be moved by his words in the past, but not anymore. He kept nagging for seeing me again, even just for one night. But my line is: I don't mind seeing you, but I refuse to sleep with you.

I went to bed in fury last night, and woke up the same this morning. 'How can you still say that when you know it is unfair to me, unfair to your girlfriend? If you want sex so bad, just find some hook ups, why drag me into this? I am pretty sure it means the same thing to you.' I have never act like this bitter before to him, or anyone to be honest. And he said he never knew I was that against this idea, because I seemed to be happy to have a sexual relationship with him in the past.

And THAT got on my nerves! I said, 'I did this because I was fucking in love with you, so I can get more intimate with you, other than sexual chemistry only. And that seems impossible. And now you're having a girlfriend, having a good time together but you said you're physically more attracted to me. What would it make me think? Or not that you really care?' I am angry, so I tell him the truth. I never confessed that to him, that I was in love with him.

The truth seems never come out of my mouth until I have nothing to fear. I guess that is the situation now. It's the good relationship with Mister that gives me the guts to say it out. Honestly, I feel so relieved now.


2013年12月2日 星期一

Exclusivity. 'Of course, you're my only one.'

'Do not have unprotected sex with anyone. Or if you do, protected or unprotected, just let me know.'
'Nah... of course I wouldn't.', I said.

'I wish you don't, so that we can have more fun.'
'Of course.' I lean closer to him, and give him a kiss.


I guess this can be one of the most common conversation between two who shares an intimate relationship. I reckon some (or most?) SB/SD are very honest and open to tell the truth of 'exclusivity' to another. But for myself, most of the time I found it too awkward to say so. It is almost impossible for me to have a BF and a SD (or SDs) at the same time, when both of them acknowledged it. So that never happens on me.

If I'm still keeping my SD, I will NOT have a BF. (There's other problems will involve as well....)

However, I was not 100% honest about the whole exclusivity confession, just for a short period of time though. I always think in an arrangement or any relationship, you have the rights to do anything, as long as you are not hurting the other OR feeling bad/guilty/unfair/sad about it. We all know what we can do and don't in certain moments. 'Follow your heart' haha.

It's been over a year since me and Mister starts this arrangement. I love the fact that he called me as his lover instead of SB/mistress, that sounds much more romantic... and beautiful as well. A name for a character whose role is to love, to make love, or to be loved. Enjoy the finest part in a relationship only, and forget about the rest of other hassles. Isn't that a lovely name?

Then I find exclusivity is something that will be established naturally. Why would I want have another SD when I have already had everything I need? Financial support, mentor-ship, a good friend, physical intimacy. I truly enjoy the every single meetings we had, and always look forward to the next one.

So now the conversation becomes:

'You're rare, you know that?'
I know, but I keep smiling. I love to hear those words.
'Not only beautiful,' he pointed to my head, 'with that mind, and all these perfect imperfections that I really like.'
I said nothing, but my heart has already melted. Absolutely flattered.

or

'Sex is nothing like sex with a condom.' I said.
'Of course.'
'It's good to have unprotected sex,' I looked at him and paused.
'And it's so lucky to find someone I can have unprotected sex with.'
Then Mister squeezed me even harder in his arms, follow a kiss on my forehead. Hehe


SO... confession time! How exclusive you are to your SD/SB?

2013年9月28日 星期六

Late night reads


I love reading, either trashy fictions or the 'useful' ones.

It always me reminds me, I had the New Scientist magazine in my hands, my head lying on Pepper's chest. Everything would seem so right that moment, that I would never want to let go.

The feelings I had for Pep was extremely intense. I still don't figure out why at the end. I guess I am not only a sweet tooth, I also got slightly obsessed with the bad food as well.

I felt less lonely through reading someone's life who is more exciting and fascinating. Seeing yourself as nothing when comparing the heroine in the books are good.

A cuppa coffee and some macaroons, let me be fat. It's fine, I won't see Shotter in 2 weeks time. I can let myself off for a while.

Is there any good reads about a sugarbaby life? Recommend any?

Sugarbaby Personal Statement & UCAS applications


Dear Bloggers,

It's September. Is there any SBs like me, working on their UCAS personal statements?

I wish I could put 'Seeking Arrangements' as my extra curricular activities. We all know how much efforts we made as being a Sugarbaby. It is definitely all about time-management, good communication skills, marketing techniques...

Good luck to all your applications!

It all began, at 17.



I have been in a long term SB-SD relationship for over a year now, exclusive to one SD only. (Well, most of the time)  

The Sugar-hunting starts all the way back in 2012. And now, I am still in the bowl, never left and don't intend to so far. 

Looking back, I think I am REALLY lucky. 

Comparing to other SB bloggers I came across, I am definitely not the professionals. Being a SB is mainly due to boredom in my social life initially, but at this point, I am so glad that I did. 

No denials, a mutual-beneficial relationship is about a man who is willing to offer cash and gifts to a young, pretty girl. And SEX is usually on the table. Moreover, it is not just about the money. In my case, all the SDs and POTS have really helped me to gain my own perspective so much.

The Past
At the beginning, I met my first SD. DJ 's at his late 20's and single, so it wasn't too bad as a kick-start for me. He is charming, very well-brought up, the type of person who was born with a silver spoon (shovel, actually) in his mouth. However, all these things doesn't make him a good SD. He never offered me things that I reasonably deserved. But as I said, he was very charming. And I truly enjoys spending time with him, so this relationship stayed for another 6 months, until I realised that I was in love with him. Everything ends with tears and regrets, we never talked since then.

The Present
Very soon, I met my second SD - Mister. The only man who I am with now. He is in his early 40's, married. He got the looks that you would  expect on a Sugardaddy, in a good way. He is physically fit, probably fitter than me to be honest, at least he hits the gym weekly.

From a call-girl to a Sugarbaby



He is very smart, and a great conversationalist, as well as a listener too. The key thing is? He KNOWS how to be a good Sugardaddy, he KNOWS how to lead such a relationship. Especially when I am the type of person who doesn't know how to ask for things, I am so relieved that I met a man who knows when to offer.