It's been 6 months.
Since I bought my place, Doctor and I, sort of see each other again. I don't know what it means to him; it certainly means something completely different for me. Nevertheless, I still get emotional when we are lying in bed together after sex. The thoughts of "You know, it could have been like this forever."or "It could have worked out." were filled of my head.
But it is different now; it's more like an acceptance. No grief; knowing life still goes on, no or little expectation... I have loved him for too long.
On the other hand, I was thinking about Doctor quite a lot recently. We had good times, rare but we did. I still find it fascinating that how someone can just walk out your life like this, after two years of spending almost every day together, witnessing the ups and downs with you. And POOF! They just disappear like that. I don't miss him, not at all. I never like our kind of relationship anyway; but I did think about how could I have handle it better... (a question not worth thinking about)
And then, here I am. So single and so ready to start a new page. Eyeing on every single eligible guys and so do they on me. I look forward to the next; and at the same time, no sure if I actually want to fell hard for someone like I did. It's a lot to bear, isn't it?
