2014年1月11日 星期六

What were you looking for?

        What were you looking for?

        Mister and I were lying in bed, talking about our fantasies and now we have a new check-list of places to have sex. Even just fantasizing about these ideas turn on both of us. Then our conversation brought up our individual’s journey through the SA site and what were our intentions.

        We think it’s the curiosity, or purely the boredom, or simply the desire of sex life satisfaction (especially for him). But we both agreed on what’s happening now is out of our expectations, nothing like what we were looking for.

        For me, I was expecting a below the average man with some sort of secret fetish, whom I will fulfill his desire in exchange of some spare money, so I don’t have to work so many hours in my part-time job, and focus on my study instead.

My intention is much closed to what it is now, but I honestly was expecting something less attached. I always have a preference on man older than me, about 6 – 12 years. Initially I never thought that I would feel something for a man 24 years older than me, especially a married man. And thanks to DJ, I realized it’s OK to feel something for a man, that you are sharing strong intimacy with, even if you are in an arrangement. It’s just the fact you wouldn't say it out loud, because the value of an arrangement is not the feelings you have developed. It is never the feelings that pursue an arrangement.

        As you may know, I am exclusive to Mister. I never intended to be an exclusive SB for only one SD, but I just don’t want to do the searching in the sugar-world again. I might if this arrangement eventually comes to an end, but before that, I don’t want to do anything that might upset Mister who always treats me beyond well. No matter how tempting it is out there, it’s never an excuse.


        Mister, you had no idea how many dates I have rejected for you...

xxxx