To my baby

Dear Baby,

Please allow me to write you a letter before you are born or before you are even conceived. For the first time and as a potential mother not just a woman, I wanted to tell you why I wanted you and I do pledge for certain level of forgiveness to bringing you to this world.

I wanted to do this differently from my mother's (your grandmother) generation - that they just let life took them wherever they were and brought life to this world without thinking about what life means to them. I wanted to show you - you, a very precious one arrives to this world with many considerations. Not the nitty gritty bit, because your mother I was never good at it.

And as I'm writing this down - this is probably the first time I start visualising you . You don't have to be anything but you can also be everything. And I will accept you for I created the every single possibilities, always.

Why I wanted you:

1. Being able to create a life is a gift - I want to experience it, I want to do this with you. I wanted to watch you grow, watch you do the same thing that I did and probably achieve greater things. But it's also OK if you don't - just live and despite there is a lot of not-so-nice bits in the world, I wish you all the best to find your own purpose of life and most importantly enjoy the ride. And don't worry, because I will always be there for you.
   
2. You would slowly understand that we have very little control over life. I was very fortunate to be in a position where I have the option to choose whether I have to have a child, and if so how I am having you. Although I don't want to spoil it, I really don't have any superpowers and clearly will not fix all my or your problems in the days ahead. But I truly love you and envision our lives as a family together. You will be immersed in the deepest and greatest love by me and those who have always been supporters of your mother.

Why I should apologise:

1. The world is nowhere near perfect - as you probably have figured out, the world is mean and unfriendly, and only occasionally you can find kindness. With that being said, there are also a lot of wonderful things that bring us great pleasure. We can make changes to this not so kind world, and it does get better from time to time.