Remaining days of 22

It has happened a lot in this month.

I have done things that I wouldn't have done.

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Arriving NYC for the first time, doing few lines of coke with a stranger and falling for this stranger. After the holiday, I tried to convince myself that this is just a holiday fling but truth is I really don't want to bear the pain of missing someone who is thousands miles away.

And shit happens. Waking up with your CEO next to you is not cool; luckily nothing 'much' had happened, it could have been worse. I choose to forget about that night, but I choose to try out something that I have wanted for months. And then it turns out, it isn't exactly something I want. Let's call him - Fred. Fred was a colleague of mine; we shared a lot in common, so we became friends and realised that he's basically have been through something similar like me with the BPD relationship. We clicked; and he is a nice guy. Just that I feel like I am the person who has always been pushing for things, and up to this point, I can really tell myself that I have tried and I can't really do much to make someone like me. I give up.

The next thing I did is I booked my flight to NYC in October - to see MD (Yep, he's a real doctor this doctor). It just feels right about him and I would move to his city if I really fall for him. We will see and time will tell.

I'm older now; love is important, but finding that person whom I can see a future with should be on my agenda.

Seventeen and we got a dream to have a family
A house and everything in between
And then, oh, suddenly we turned twenty-three
Now we got pressure for taking our life more seriously
We got our dead-end jobs and got bills to pay
Have old friends and know our enemies
Now I-, I'm thinking back to when I was young
Back to the day when I was falling in love

We can do anything if we put our minds to it
Take your whole life then you put a line through it
My love is yours if you're willing to take it
Give me your heart 'cause I ain't gonna break it
So come away, starting today
Start a new life, together in a different place
We know that love is how all these ideas came to be
So baby, run away with me