Something's wrong

  As you notice, I've been in this mood swing lately. When I sit down in a cafe today, and really think about what is going on with me.

 The thought of ending the relationship is getting stronger than ever. I can sense something is wrong, with Mister or it might just simply with me. I don't know.

  Although  I have always feeling insecure, I am always good at coping with them. I can always pull myself together and put up with it. But for this time, I feel like I can't handle this. I don't see why I should put myself in this anymore.

  When there is a problem, you can either:

Accept it
Change it
Leave it

  But I don't want leave and I can't change anything. I wish this is just another emotion cycle and I can manage to accept it as I have always done.

  As I was thinking all these, I realised I have forgotten something really important. THE PILLS!

  I have been taking Cerazette for the past 2 years. Recently I went back to Hong Kong for 3 weeks, so I have been on and off taking the pills. And as I come back to the UK, the routine has returned back to usual. Bare that in mind, the depression side-effects are very common in women who take this kind of contraceptive pills. The fluctuation in hormone levels can be a huge factor contributing to my recent mood swings. And that will make so much more sense now!

  But of course, Mister is a big trigger....

  If this is getting worse, I think I will need to cut off the pills or talk to a counsellor. I have heard that the depression can be severe from a lot of women. Wish I will get back to normal, as the hormones level is stabilised.