我想长大，更想你陪我长大。

 Diary is an incredibly interesting thing. When you first wrote it, it's almost like a burden that you can put them into words and unload it somewhere. And when you read it again in years time, it recalls the exact emotions that you were going through and also reminds yourself how much you have grown.

还有一个月就二十五岁了，二十岁走了大半，想着我得到了什么和失去了什么，老实说我并不如开局的时候处之泰然。与其说压力来自于外界，不如说已经习惯跟自己较劲。他们都说老天为所有人的三十岁早已预备好一份份礼物等你认领，而二十岁的你就是要好好的预备换取的资格。

焦虑是因为我好像还跟我想象中的样子有出入，也是因为我想三十岁时有张令自己满意的答卷。

然而踏入二十后局有更多命题，是金钱事业婚姻，排山倒海的涌过来。我怕，有天我后悔。

回归自由

6月6号

我们这段感情来到这刚刚好了。我最后的温柔，请你接受吧。不是我不难过，只是我痛得比你早而已。

这个结局不正是你想要的吗？

6月6号

我想跟你发展下去。你的勇敢感动了我，行与不行 - 平常心去看待就好了。至少我如今醒了过来，发现原来只是一场恶梦。

很久没有写一些情情爱爱，跟咨询师的第八节课，不知不觉我的生命起了很多变化：

1. 我觉得I can feel again，我开始对生命重拾热情，我觉得每一天起来都有可期待的事情。

2. 网红的过度期其实没有那么可怕。

3. 我爱做饭，我爱剪影片，我爱他。

4. 也许现实不能事事如意，但既然当下是享受的，那就好好享受吧。

Love is a choice. Like is intuitive.

Small things melt my heart. 

I really appreciate how things are right now. I wish it will stay like this, forever. He makes me strong, I makes him proud. I like this relationship so much. We are better people because we are together. Not because we have to sacrifice our values to declare love to each other. This is the most beautiful state any love can be.

F, 

I love you but I still love myself more, and I wish just the same for you.

S

Because time will tell

对另一半有很多问题，固然想问，但退一步还是觉得时间会证明一切。奈何现代人时间不多，分秒力争，说到底还是得失心重。因为你们都希望把有限的时间留给你理想的那个人；说的通，但于我那不是爱情，那不过是找个人去配合自己，谈不上爱。

当你真的能够把自己放下，怀着love is not restricted by time的心情，putting someone else first, 那才是爱的开始。我从来也不怎么懂去爱人，也许有些领悟，但还在努力学习呢。

I'm in Love.

I am in love, so in love.

Embrace my singlehood

Three weeks of holidays - been through the snow, the tropical islands and a glimpse of city lights.

I think I am ready for what the new life has to offer.

In the Nyepi Day, I also make a vow of not dating anyone for 3 months. And if it feels right, I can extend this commitment to myself for another 3 months or so. The world has so much undiscovered and so much to offer, and in comparison I don't think any relationship can really compare to that. (However, I'm grateful for what Mister had done to open this door for me to explore the world. And my parents of course.)

So I'm just gonna stay committed to myself for a while. Focus on the new job, new challenge and a lot of opportunities that will come along. Embrace what it is to live a life of a 23 year old. That's very important. I want to spend more time doing community work if my schedule allows, so I don't forget to give back to those in need, and perhaps one day it will open a door for them to admire the world fully like me.

The list goes on... so there's no room for self-pity and harming. A lot of things are waiting ahead for me. I just need to ditch the habit of 'finding the ultimate person so my life will be completed', that person perhaps does not exist. I will meet a lot of people who walks in and teach me new things, and once their time is up they will walk out. Just because they walked out, it doesn't mean that the relationship that was once there was meaningless - they make me who I am and I am still the owner of my life.